saturday i gathered with others at the quaker church we've been attending to brainstorm its future direction. we participated in an exercise in which we "interviewed" another person in the group we didn't know well. one of the questions we asked each other was, "what brought you to this church and what kept you?" as my partner asked me that question, i quickly thought of one or two things and wasn't sure how i would fill the 15 minutes alotted to me before we switched. but as i started to relay those things, i realized that what brought me there was actually linked to a much longer story - that of my own spiritual journey.
it all began in the disciples of Christ church where i was raised. these formative years developed a foundational belief in a trustworthy God full of love and worth following. i made important multigenerational connections with people i knew loved me and were faithful in my life. through sunday school, worship, camps, retreats, and fellowship, a solid establishment of spirituality developed in my core.
the summer before i went to college i sensed a powerful desire for my own individual understanding of God. i guess most collegiate freshmen step onto campus in search of their individuality, with many twists and turns along the way; i was no different. but the spiritual element was especially poignant to me. i felt an unignorable pull toward the Divine, but wondered how best to follow and express that. i was drawn to our campus fellowships, and through these i met other students whose personal faith took priority and shaped the rest of their lives. in these four years, i grew in excitement for my faith and - through my religious academic studies - expanded my knowledge.
so important to me was this knowledge, i continued after graduation to work for intervarsity. my experience of the Divine compelled me, and i looked forward to walking alongside others as they also made this journey. through intervarsity, my eyes were opened to the realities of social injustices in the world. more than cause for a weekend service project, i realized that deep-rooted inequities in our society are precisely what centuries of scripture and daily revelations of God address. my faith became simultaneously intimate and personal, but also powerful and gripping for addressing these macro problems. they were unignorable.
when our family moved to huntington, wv, this desire for intimacy and connectedness to God, as well as a passionate commitment to social injustices fueled our quest for a worship community. as we visited churches, we tended to find one or the other but often not both. our journey eventually landed us in a presbyterian church (usa). we appreciated learning the history and organized theology of the presbyterian church. we loved their commitment to the huntington community, and saw in our friends there a thirst for following God in their daily lives. during our time there, we enjoyed a rich small group, helping start a college sunday school class, creating a csa with a local farmer and recipients in our church, and lasting friendships to which we're still connected.
this summer we excitedly embarked on our newest chapter in richmond, in. though we eagerly anticipated the advantages of this move, we grieved the loss of this well-fitted spiritual community that seemed so difficult to find! our hunt led us to the quaker meeting which began this post. i visited a quaker meeting in college as a part of a class project. we sat in silence amongst 40-50 geriatric attendees. as a sleep-deprived undergraduate, this was an underwhelming experience that framed my view of quakerism. but willing to expand my quaker-oatmeal-man-with-the-black-cornered-hat stereotype, i gave it a try here in richmond. i was simultaneously reading a book given to me by a friend here at earlham, entitled silence and witness. i began to appreciate the richness of the quaker tradition, with its fervent pursuit of God through silence, openness to outsiders, and long-standing commitment to active involvement with social issues. i found these characteristics salient and prominent at first friends (which by the way is a "semi-programmed" meeting, only 10-15 minutes of silence). additionally, i had never visited a church where strangers expressed such deep care for my kids. members encourage us time-after-time to keep our kids with us and incorporate their unavoidable kid-noise into the tapestry of worship. they even eagerly open their arms and laps to them when they wander, (though the kids usually prefer to go downstairs to "play with the toys" - tough sell!).
from disciples of Christ to evangelical to presbyterian to quaker, i realized as i told my story on saturday that my spiritual journey has also been a bit "checkered." at first i felt a little ashamed about what seemed to be "spiritual hopping" around the christian map. many years ago i started a book whose title i can't even remember now. but the first chapter described God as an enormous, multi-faceted, precious gem. no human eye can take in the full beauty of the gem from any one vantage point. the gem must be circumambulated to appreciate its bigness, diversity, complexity, and rich beauty. (i wonder if many of our society's religious differences are rooted in a narrow view of only one face of the gem?) circumambulating this gem is the spiritual journey, a pilgrimage through life in pursuit of the Divine. though i greatly admire those committed to one particular spiritual tradition and also believe this brings rich revelation of God's complexity, my path has led me to see God through the vehicles of a variety of traditions. maybe most importantly, it's led me to understand that the gem's many faces all comprise the magnificent God that i have yet to fully comprehend. until then, i guess i'll keep walking....
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