sol mates challenge: closing thoughts

tonight’s sunset closes our week of living by the sun’s cycles.  we chose challenges we know we can’t sustain on a constant basis.  but we hope to learn principles for simple living that we can incorporate regularly.  this week did just that.  we found the sunset part to be the greatest challenge,  and our week even spanned the summer solstice!  but here are some important lessons i hope to weave into my  everyday tapestry:

1)       waking early is worth it.  it centers me.  i have more emotional availability for the needs in my day.  starting by my own accord (rather than in response to the waking needs of a child) is an important and symbolic act of self assertion for me.  once centered by morning peace, then i can be more healthfully available to the needs of others.  these outside needs can guide the rest of the day with less damaging cost to myself.

2)      i did less this week.  and no one seemed to suffer!  i kept from heaping chores, to-do’s, hopes, expectations in to the “me-window” at the end of the day.  i went to sleep with more peace.

3)      i got more sleep!

4)      james and i paid the greatest price for this challenge.  we lost most of our connecting time at night.  he leaves for work before 7:00am, so we didn’t gain much in the morning.  we miss it!

resolved: we will retire earlier (though not 9:30!), and continue waking with the sun.  we will seize the peace and simplicity awarded by more rest.

 

 

next challenge…..

this is my personal favorite!  for five days, we will eat only what can be purchased from the bulk bins at our co-op grocery store or what we grow in our own backyard.  the bulk bins offer a plentiful variety of dry goods, including powdered milk.  we anticipate blueberries, tomatoes, green peppers, lettuce, and onions to be among the foods available from our garden.  our lovely hens will rescue us with their plentiful eggs.

i look to friends and family for help with this…..  what staple foods will i miss, and how can we substitute?  should we allow ourselves preserved food from earlier in the growing season?  what killer recipes can you share that use simple, whole food ingredients?  send em my way!

sol mates....in the rain

quiet rain brought a darker than usual tuesday morning on this day 2 of the sol mates challenge.  nevertheless, i rose with the hidden sun and slipped peacefully into the stillness around me.

yesterday i found myself eagerly awaiting the 9:15 sunset.  maybe it was simply exhaustion from our busy weekend.  but possibly it was something more nuanced.  you see, it was like i once again had a bedtime dictated to me by someone else.  like when i was a kid and my parents spoke the dreaded words..."time for bed!".  by the time our kids were asleep, my 9:15 bedtime left me with little margin for myself.  but even still, there was a freedom that came from an obligation to sleep.  it somehow relieved me of the pressure to cram all that i need or want to accomplish interruption-free into the small window before i retire for the night.  rather than falling into bed feeling under-accomplished and tightly-wound, i somehow just felt finished.  simply finished.

sol mates: keeping company with the sun

my husband and i have chosen “simply living” as the door sign over our string of challenges this summer.  our quest to live more simply, justly, sustainably, faithfully may in fact just be learning how to actually live.  truly.  completely.  simply.  thus, we embark on our quest to simply live.

my children have two good friends in the sky: luna (moon) and sol (sun).  we look to our friend sol for guidance in our first simply living challenge.  we will sleep while sol hides himself from us, and wake while his face shines on our patch of ground.  we begin Monday morning June 17^th at 6:19 am, and then close the challenge at sunset on Friday June 21^st, around 9:15.

as it turns out, we actually weren’t the first to have this idea.  our internal circadian rhythm follows this schedule.  our bodies are programmed to become sleepy as light diminishes, then wakefulness triggers as light increases.  modern society ceased its attentiveness to this natural cycle with the entrance of electricity.  “the current” (as my grandma sara called it) manufactures light on demand any time in the 24-hour cycle.  we have thus moved both socially and physically from this natural rhythm.

so what will happen when we resynchronize ourselves with the natural circadian rhythm?  are there benefits beyond a decreased electric bill?  will we feel the impact of this synchronization in a mere week?

and the most important question….do we wake our sleeping children at 6:19 in the morning??

share your thoughts, or join us in this first simply living challenge!

summer challenges

i glide into the easy ways of summer with energy for self-renewal and petite life tweaks.  for summer 2013, our family will embark upon a few mini-quests to hopefully help us live more justly, sustainably, and simply.  we often ask, “i wonder if we could _______?”  no, it would be too hard.  no, it would change our lives too drastically.  no, it would cut us off from things and people we love.  but these conversations have led us to these mini-quests.  what if we tried them for just a short period of time?  most of these challenges are not sustainable for us in the long run.  but we hope to gain some insight and small change from committing ourselves to them for a short stint.  for these challenges, a week equals five days.  forgive my loose use of the term “week” from here on out.
 
we have a few we’re already eager to try, but I’m looking for suggestions.  can you think of any week-long experiments that might make us more just, simple, sustainable, self-aware, hallowed people?  here’s what we’ve got so far:

-          up and down with the sun week

inspired by Thoreau at Walden Pond, this week we will rise with the sun and sleep with the sun.  the goal of this week is to allow our bodies to rest more and synchronize with the natural cycles of light.  in short, more sleep. 

-          bulk bin/backyard week

my personal favorite, this week we will eat only what can be obtained in our backyard or bought from the bulk bins at our local co-op grocery store. fortunately, this grocery store has extensive and well-stocked bulk bins.  we’re planning this one for the height of our backyard garden production.

-          car-free week

5 days, no driving.  chock-full of well-planned kids’ activities, good books, outside projects, and a well-stocked pantry, we will hunker down and stay home (with the exception of emergencies, of course).  we have delightful friends and neighbors nearby; short walks should help us maintain congeniality within our own walls.

-          internet-free week

not quite “unplugged,” but what will happen when we take out Craig’s List, Ravelry, and frenetic email-checking?  i’ll let you know!

 

i’m looking for input.  can you suggest other mini-quests?  changes to these?  what will i miss the most?  what will be the challenges?  outcomes?  would you like to try any of these with us?

stay tuned for more detailed posts as we embark on these ventures.  i’ll share the dates, pre-week prep, goals, and reflections.

James Morris Bagby

On April 18th, 2013, I lost the man I've loved the longest.  My dad finally closed his eyes for the last after a two-and-a-half year cojourn with a bone marrow disease that he led bravely and whimsically.  I wrote this blog entry months ago, but never got around to publishing it.  Now I offer it is a small tribute to a majestic man.

 

March 16^th 2012 my sweet baby boy entered the world.  He’s changed our lives in perfect ways.  But he has also kept me away from my blog posts.  I reenter the blogosphere with a loving hurrah to my father that has spun in my heart for the past few months…..

Hyacinth Bucket – pronounced “bouquet” – devotes her every breath to “keeping up appearances”.  In the BBC sitcom so named, Hyacinth mentally dwells amongst Britain’s finest and struggles aptly to represent herself as such in her squarely middle class surroundings.  In one particular episode she has gathered brochures for expensive vacations in order to flaunt them ceremoniously, though the trips will not likely come to fruition.  She lays the brochures in plain view for her neighbor, Elizabeth, to see.  She says, “I want Elizabeth to spot the brochures immediately when I fetch her in for coffee.”  In another ploy, she exclaims, “Oh, dear!  I’m afraid Richard was driving so fast, my holiday brochures blew out of the window!  Have you seen my holiday brochures?  You can’t miss them.  There’s one about the Orient Express, and the other’s cruising on the QE2 [Queen Elizabeth 2].  Ohhh!  There they are!  Not a scratch or a crease.  It certainly pays to go for the best.”

This sitcom is one of my dad’s favorites.  I find this endearing and wonderful.  You see, my father is one of the most sincerely dignified men I’ve ever met.  He embodies social graces for the sake of bestowing comfort on those around him.  Social rules exist so that people can have shared expectations for social situations.  He once explained to me that wicks on new candles should always be immediately lit so as not to display their new whiteness.  Unlike Hyacinth Bucket, this nicety is to avoid ostentatiously flaunting the newness of a taper.  But even more interesting to me was the second part of this lesson on candle etiquette.  Say I enter the home of someone who left her or his candle wicks unburned.  The next time said person is a guest in my home I should replace all my candles with new ones bearing their white wicks, left unburned.  This is because the comfort of that person and the hospitality I extend to her or him supersedes all else.

My dad told me bedtime stories when I was a young girl.  They often featured the loveable protagonist Lady Swan.  Lady Swan was perpetually planning lovely events for her friends.  Teas, parties, sweet get-togethers aimed at treating her guests to elegant yet simple hospitality and delectable food.  Each party, however, was interrupted by the rude Miss Pig.  Through these adorable quips, Dad educated us on proper social behavior while fostering the closeness that comes through bedtime rituals.

These memories bring me back to dear Hyacinth.  I’ve watched this show with my dad and laughed myself to tears partially at her ridiculous endeavors, but even more so at my dad overcome by hilarity.  I love that this Anglophile man embodies all the graces expected of the most distinguished Southern gentleman, but can also laugh at these graces taken to an exaggerated extreme.  I love and am so grateful for this man of balance, allowing his care for people to supplant all else.

the gaze

i have a friend here who paints beautifully.  he is especially drawn to painting figures, so asked if he could paint me while pregnant. 

i have felt a sense of beloved grief during this pregnancy.  as my last pregnancy, i've been mourning the end of this special season.  at no time in my life will my children be as close to me - as intimate - as during pregnancy.  at the moment of their births, they begin their journey away from me and into their ownness - a breathtaking journey.  but for these nine months, i've reflected on and treasured this rich bond.  because of this, i clung to the idea of his painting somehow capturing this wonderful season and artistically immortalizing it. 

during our first sitting, he drew the rough sketches of the painting - void of color and streaked by the framework lines.  he invited me over to look, asking "is this you?"  i said, "yes, it is me.  but it's not me the way i wish i looked.  i wish my shoulders didn't slump like that.  i wish i had straighter posture.  i wish my hair weren't as stringy."  he said, "don't.  don't wish those things.  learn to love yourself, to forgive yourself deeply."

when someone looks at you intently, it forces you to look inward at yourself.  what does it look like to love yourself, while warmly embracing the things you wish you could change? 

sacred journey: checkered past part 2

saturday i gathered with others at the quaker church we've been attending to brainstorm its future direction.  we participated in an exercise in which we "interviewed" another person in the group we didn't know well.  one of the questions we asked each other was, "what brought you to this church and what kept you?"  as my partner asked me that question, i quickly thought of one or two things and wasn't sure how i would fill the 15 minutes alotted to me before we switched.  but as i started to relay those things, i realized that what brought me there was actually linked to a much longer story - that of my own spiritual journey.

it all began in the disciples of Christ church where i was raised.  these formative years developed a foundational belief in a trustworthy God full of love and worth following.  i made important multigenerational connections with people i knew loved me and were faithful in my life.  through sunday school, worship, camps, retreats, and fellowship, a solid establishment of spirituality developed in my core.

the summer before i went to college i sensed a powerful desire for my own individual understanding of God.  i guess most collegiate freshmen step onto campus in search of their individuality, with many twists and turns along the way; i was no different.  but the spiritual element was especially poignant to me.  i felt an unignorable pull toward the Divine, but wondered how best to follow and express that.  i was drawn to our campus fellowships, and through these i met other students whose personal faith took priority and shaped the rest of their lives.  in these four years, i grew in excitement for my faith and - through my religious academic studies - expanded my knowledge.

so important to me was this knowledge, i continued after graduation to work for intervarsity.  my experience of the Divine compelled me, and i looked forward to walking alongside others as they also made this journey.  through intervarsity, my eyes were opened to the realities of social injustices in the world.  more than cause for a weekend service project, i realized that deep-rooted inequities in our society are precisely what centuries of scripture and daily revelations of God address.  my faith became simultaneously intimate and personal, but also powerful and gripping for addressing these macro problems.  they were unignorable.

when our family moved to huntington, wv, this desire for intimacy and connectedness to God, as well as a passionate commitment to social injustices fueled our quest for a worship community.  as we visited churches, we tended to find one or the other but often not both.  our journey eventually landed us in a presbyterian church (usa).  we appreciated learning the history and organized theology of the presbyterian church.  we loved their commitment to the huntington community, and saw in our friends there a thirst for following God in their daily lives.  during our time there, we enjoyed a rich small group, helping start a college sunday school class, creating a csa with a local farmer and recipients in our church, and lasting friendships to which we're still connected.

this summer we excitedly embarked on our newest chapter in richmond, in.  though we eagerly anticipated the advantages of this move, we grieved the loss of this well-fitted spiritual community that seemed so difficult to find!  our hunt led us to the quaker meeting which began this post.  i visited a quaker meeting in college as a part of a class project.  we sat in silence amongst 40-50 geriatric attendees.  as a sleep-deprived undergraduate, this was an underwhelming experience that framed my view of quakerism.  but willing to expand my quaker-oatmeal-man-with-the-black-cornered-hat stereotype, i gave it a try here in richmond.  i was simultaneously reading a book given to me by a friend here at earlham, entitled silence and witness.  i began to appreciate the richness of the quaker tradition, with its fervent pursuit of God through silence, openness to outsiders, and long-standing commitment to active involvement with social issues.  i found these characteristics salient and prominent at first friends (which by the way is a "semi-programmed" meeting, only 10-15 minutes of silence).  additionally, i had never visited a church where strangers expressed such deep care for my kids.  members encourage us time-after-time to keep our kids with us and incorporate their unavoidable kid-noise into the tapestry of worship.  they even eagerly open their arms and laps to them when they wander, (though the kids usually prefer to go downstairs to "play with the toys" - tough sell!).

from disciples of Christ to evangelical to presbyterian to quaker, i realized as i told my story on saturday that my spiritual journey has also been a bit "checkered."  at first i felt a little ashamed about what seemed to be "spiritual hopping" around the christian map.  many years ago i started a book whose title i can't even remember now.  but the first chapter described God as an enormous, multi-faceted, precious gem.  no human eye can take in the full beauty of the gem from any one vantage point.  the gem must be circumambulated to appreciate its bigness, diversity, complexity, and rich beauty.  (i wonder if many of our society's religious differences are rooted in a narrow view of only one face of the gem?)  circumambulating this gem is the spiritual journey, a pilgrimage through life in pursuit of the Divine.  though i greatly admire those committed to one particular spiritual tradition and also believe this brings rich revelation of God's complexity, my path has led me to see God through the vehicles of a variety of traditions.  maybe most importantly, it's led me to understand that the gem's many faces all comprise the magnificent God that i have yet to fully comprehend.  until then, i guess i'll keep walking....